Last week, we talked about Chichi and the two-year situationship that refused to define itself. The butterflies were loud at the beginning, the late-night calls felt intentional, and the “our wife” jokes made everything seem promising. But as time passed, clarity never came, and what started as excitement slowly turned into confusion.
After that piece, a lot of you reached out. Some of you are currently in a situationship that feels similar. It’s not bad enough to walk away immediately, but not clear enough to feel secure either.
And that grey area can be exhausting. It makes you question your instincts and overthink simple things. It makes you wonder if you’re expecting too much.
So today, let’s balance the narrative. Not every talking phase means you’re wasting your time. Some slow starts are actually healthy, as long as you can see the signs clearly and recognize the green flags in a relationship when they appear.
When someone is serious about you, the difference might not be loud, but it will be steady. It will feel grounded and safe.
Good Signals in the Talking Phase (Green Flags in a Relationship)
1. Consistent Communication
It’s not about texting every minute of the day or long midnight calls every night. It’s about reliability. He doesn’t disappear without explanation, and you’re not left guessing whether something went wrong.
Even when work gets busy or life feels tiring and overwhelming, he checks in because staying connected matters to him.
Consistency creates calm. And calm is something many of us mistake for boredom simply because we’re used to fights. Some people even say, “If we don’t fight, how would we know we are a good fit?” But steady communication is one of the clearest green flags in a relationship, especially during the talking phase.
2. He Talks About the Future Without Being Asked
Notice this doesn’t mean promises or unreal timelines. It simply means he includes you when he speaks about what’s ahead.
Whether it’s mentioning plans for December, talking about events you’ll attend together, or casually saying, “We should try that place next month,” you are part of his mental picture.
Future language shows intention. It shows that you are not temporary entertainment but someone he is considering for the future. In a healthy talking phase, inclusion like this is not accidental.
3. He Is Clear About His Intentions
You didn’t have to beg for clarity or issue ultimatums. At some point, he openly communicated what he wants, whether that’s dating intentionally, building toward a relationship, or taking things seriously with you.
Clarity removes unnecessary anxiety. When someone knows what they want, they don’t keep you suspended in confusion. That openness is one of the strongest green flags in a relationship because it replaces guessing with understanding.
4. His Actions Match His Words
He follows through. If he says he will call, he calls. If he says he will show up, he shows up. His behavior aligns with what he tells you, and you don’t constantly need to reinterpret or defend him to your friends.
When actions and words are in sync, trust builds naturally. You don’t feel like you’re filling in emotional gaps on your own, and the talking phase begins to feel like real progress instead of emotional stress.
5. You Feel Secure, Not Anxious
This might be the biggest one. You are not constantly checking his last seen or rereading conversations to look for hidden meanings. You’re not afraid to ask simple questions. You don’t feel like you’re competing for attention.
Instead, you feel settled and at peace. There’s emotional safety that allows you to be yourself without fear of losing him for speaking up. That sense of security is one of those quiet green flags in a relationship that people often overlook because it feels calm.
6. He Introduces You Intentionally
When someone sees potential, they don’t treat you like a secret. He mentions you confidently, introduces you properly, and doesn’t reduce you to “just a friend” when you clearly mean more.
Being acknowledged publicly is not about social media validation; it’s about intentionality. It’s about knowing you are not hidden from his friends and family.
The Honest Difference
Green flags aren’t always dramatic. Often, they’re calm, reassuring, and bring a sense of peace. And if you compare that to the anxiety of constantly asking, “What are we?” you’ll notice the difference immediately.
The talking phase should feel like progress, not stagnation. It should feel like growth, not guessing. And when it’s healthy, you won’t be afraid of clarity because you will feel it.
See you next Saturday.
Xoxo,
Dara.
