There’s a new type of “I’m single and you’re not” oppression happening at weddings.
I experienced it myself two weeks ago.
As usual, I was at a wedding, minding my business. Everything was going beautifully. I was well fed, the music was good and, most importantly, they had just served me a plate of ofada rice.
I was ready to focus on the important things… the plate of ofada in front of me.
Then the MC announced:
“All the bride’s friends, please come forward for the bouquet toss!”
Now, small context. I was there as a plus-one. I didn’t know the couple like that. In fact, I had never met the bride before that day. And I certainly was not one of her friends.
So imagine my confusion when I suddenly hear:
“Who, her?”
I looked up.
The MC was standing behind my chair…
POINTING AT ME.
Apparently, my cousin, who was also at the wedding, had been busy pointing me out as one of the single ladies who should come and join the bouquet toss.
Meanwhile, I was sitting there with my fork halfway through my ofada.
The embarrassment.
I smiled politely and said, “I’m okay, thank you.”
Simple, right?
Wrong.
The MC entered full MC mode.
“Oya now! Everybody tell her! Stand up na! Are you shy?”
Sir.
I have answered you.
At this point, embarrassment had fully enveloped me.
Then the guy I came to the wedding with leaned over and quietly asked:
“Do you want to go?”
“No.”
He looked at the MC and said:
“Leave her alone.”
And just like that, the MC disappeared from my vicinity and continued with his job.
I turned to him.
“Thank you.”
Because honestly, why did he listen to him but ignore me when I had already said no?
And it got me thinking…
Why have we decided that every single woman at a wedding must be publicly identified and summoned for the bouquet toss?
What if she doesn’t want to catch it or what if she’s happily single?
What if she’s recently heartbroken?
What if she simply wants to eat her ofada in peace?
And let’s be honest, there is something particularly awkward about being pointed out in a crowd as “the single one.”
Anyway, the guy has earned himself +2 points in my books for speaking up.
We’re still observing sha. 😂
But tell me…
Is this a new style of wedding embarrassment?
Has an MC ever publicly identified you as one of the single ladies and tried to force you into the bouquet toss?
Because Dara would like to know. 👀👇🏾
